"There's still too many..."

As I sit here writing, for the first time in ages it feels like no doubt, my house sits in ruin with clothes to be folded, dishes to be washed, and no creamer to accompany my coffee in the morning. There's homework to be done and planning for the future that seems to haunt me at every moment. As a wife, student, and employee there seems to be rare moments where I can find peace in just sitting when my daily chores written on my never ending invisible list daunt me. But it's moments like these that I must resist accomplishing everything that needs to be done, even for a few minutes, for the sake of my soul. 

Reflecting on the past six months is something that I discourage myself to do. It brings up pain, heartache, fear, and betrayal, even loneliness. Yet, it brings up joy, happiness, and loving memories between my husband and I. But as a whole, the past few months have been hard ones. With the move from my Beloved Home, NC to A Place in the Middle of Nowhere, TN, it has been a rough road to ride on, one that I wouldn't want anyone to travel. As newlyweds, we thought starting a new journey here would be exciting and bring new adventures; however, through the difficulty of finding a job, making new friends and loosing old ones, and trying to pay the sky-high hospital bills that never stopped coming, we lost hope of that dream. However, God continues to prove us wrong in every "hopeless" situation that we continue to face. This journey has proved to be a lonely one in the long run but God remains our cornerstone and strength in the face of impossible situations. When this hopelessness and despair begins to settle in my heart, I am reminded of the small army that God used in the Old Testament to defeat a larger army that delighted in their oppressive powers.

 In Judges 7:1-8 we read this:

"Early in the morning, Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon) and all his men camped at the spring of Harod. The camp of Midian was north of them in the valley near the hill of Moreh.The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’ Now announce to the army, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’” So twenty-two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained^.  But the Lord said to Gideon, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will thin them out for you there. If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”

So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the Lord told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.”  Three hundred of them drank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs. All the rest got down on their knees to drink. The Lord said to Gideon, “With the three hundred men that lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hands. Let all the others go home.” So Gideon sent the rest of the Israelites home but kept the three hundred, who took over the provisions and trumpets of the others."

For those who have not read this passage, Gideon has been called upon by Yahweh to lead the Israelites, God's people, into battle with the Midianites, the oppressors of the Israelites, and to save the people. (If you would like to read the whole story, see Judges 7-8). Despite the fact that Gideon will eventually lead the people into a cultic worship, we see that God uses him for the glory of the Lord's name when we witness an army of 300 men overpower a force that was large enough to completely destroy them.

  

In reading this story, God saturates my soul with hope. He reminds me that He is the God of Impossibilities. My mind is so small that it cannot fathom how an army of 300 men could possibly defeat a whole army; in context, this army would not have even be trained as soldiers and would know nothing about fighting an army! Yet, God displays his sovreignty. He makes it known to Gideon that his army is too large and that this cannot be for the sake of men but for His name's sake. It is only by the Lord's power that the Canaanite peoples will be defeated. 

In trials of this life, let us be reminded that we are serving a God who is capable of providing victory to the lowly and incapable, to the small and defeated, to the hungry and broken in heart. Let us be reminded that if God can raise an army of 300 to defeat an army too big to imagine that he can surely do miracles in our own sufferings. Let us not be so quick to accept defeat but instead let us allow the God of impossibilities to prove his power and strength so that in His power, our sufferings will produce glory.  

  

We were not created for defeat. We were created for victory. We were created for more.