We all find ourselves at this place in our lives over and over again: too weak to go on. So many times we can't find the strength to go on anymore and we tend to give up on ourselves and even on everything that surrounds us. What's worse is that we give up on the faith that once held us together. Why is it so easy to believe in a God during good times but when something takes a turn for the worse, we turn our back on the one thing that remained unchanging in our life?
I'm learning lately that I am a failure. I am a human that cannot control anything going on in my life. I can't even control the grades I get in my classes, let alone the friendships I try and hold together. I'm learning that I am weak and without something holding me together, I am nothing. But there's one thing:
Hope is here.
God said in John 14:18, I will not leave you as orphans but I will come to you. Sometimes this verse is so hard to believe in. At times in my life, I feel like the most unwanted person on the planet. But this verse tells me something different: that even the most unwanted person he will come to. I wonder what it would be like to be an orphan; to not have one person to take care of you, to love you. Jesus said he would come to them.
How comforting.
I have seen what it is like to give up hope. To have no hope. To feel no love. To feel alone. It makes me realize that I do not want to give up the most precious thing in my life: the relationship I have with a redeeming God. Whenever I want to give up, he shows me what it looks like to not have faith or hope in Him. This makes me want to pursue Him even harder because without hope, I can't find my way. It's easy to give up but what will that do? Will it not just leave me in despair and wanting a love that only God can fulfill?
That's precisely what it would do..
My sacrifice, oh God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise. When my heart grows faint, hold it in your gentle hands and bring life to it again.
