God of Peace

Today, I decided to go outside in nature and spend time with the Lord. I'm at my grandma's this weekend so it's hard to get away at times. But as I was sitting, this is what I wrote in my journal:

"As I sit here, all I here is a dog barking his head off because of me. He thinks I'm on his territory, or he's afraid of me. The thoughts in my head as I sit in the beauty of your creation is that we are just like this. We desire for so many to hear what it is we have to say and we'll do or say whatever it is to be heard. It's our human instinct to desire this, for others to know the deep details of our life. Sometimes we're so desperate for this that we give ourselves away, whether physically or emotionally, risking the fullness of our hearts in the hands of a human being, I don't think this desire is wrong, but we've been made to experience a relationship like this already, with one who desires the same kind of relationship. ' For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.' (Psalm 139) The more I entangle my emotions with humans, the more I feel unsatisfied. And the answer is so simple as to why: We were made to be entangled in the One who knows us completely, and loves like no other. As I grow older, I understand this concept more and more. I know each person I form a relationship with is going to fail me and I will fail them. But I know my god will never fail me, even though I will fail Him. Because the truth is that God is looking intently for those who love Him. His love never fails and always satisfies. We can always entangle ourselves in Him but never come out with a broken heart. I'm tired of being a loud, barking dog. It's time I become like a sparrow, always counting on the unfailing One who provides." 

I think about how many times this happens, that we so willingly give our hearts away without meaning to. While vulnerability is normal, we must guard the inner parts of our soul and give them to the Protector. He longs for us to come to Him first. He never says no to what we have to say :)

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9